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“Sweety, does Ashley have your cam site info? Do you know if she watches you?” “Oh my god, oh my god, what the fuck? I’m so fucking stupid!” She was crying even harder now, understanding what had probably happened. “Listen to me carefully honey. Ashley loves you, she has since you were babies. We can fix this. You have to talk to her, immediately. You have to explain to her this is all my fault. You were scared and didn’t know what to do. You have to do this fast before she tells anyone. She doesn’t wanna hurt you, baby, she cares too much about you to ruin your life, I’m sure if you talk to her she will understand.” His first concern was his lovely daughter and her reputation but he was also nearly shitting himself thinking of what would happen to his marriage, career, and life if this got out. “Ok I’ll try, Dad I’m so scared. What if mom finds out, what if everyone in school finds out!?” “They won’t honey, call her right now and just talk to her, tell her how. This Brad person might not even follow though. It might be a bluff. But I sensed that it was not, that he would take pleasure in humiliating me one way or another. But as I say, even at that moment I knew I could simply walk away from everything and disappear with Winston that much sooner. But ‘everything’ was what I had worked for all my life. And I was furious with Winston for putting me in this position, however unwittingly. And even at that moment I knew, although I did not fully admit it to myself until a long time later, that some tiny perverse sliver of myself was aroused, or at least stimulated, sensitized, by the prospect of being used helplessly by this man. His very grotesqueness. To be touched by such a creature. I have wondered if I had not already fallen under his control. I had come to his room. I had sat beside him. I had made and brought the drinks. But those were different. Removing my shoes was so innocent. And yet it wasn’t. It was letting him tell me to undress..
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